OMG…what is wrong with me? I am turning 39 on Sunday…I have no problem with that, but I miss the Teresa that could grill food on the BBQ and have some roasted vegetables on the side…I’m not overweight, I exercise…but I eat like crap here…seriously, everything is pan fried or deep fried or covered in sugar…and I miss a lot of things from home, so a lot times I’m just munching on stuff and not getting a “real meal”…don’t get me wrong, about once per week, I hit up 18 grocery stores so that I can make homemade chili or chicken burritos or egg free goodies for my Z…OK…maybe I’m exaggerating…it’s more like 4 stores, but they are ALL over town…in a tuk tuk…on a hot day.
Blah…what I’m trying to say is that my 38.9 year old brain told me that I needed to something good for my body…and I saw this 5 day raw food detox and thought, “Self, you need to do that!”. I don’t want to lose any weight, I just wanted to make my body healthier, more efficient and basically give it a tune up before I hit my last year of my 30’s.
I was PUMPED on this…Seriously, like, telling and asking everyone about it; dreaming about it (when I have something on my mind I dream about it!…sheesh…don’t judge me too hard!)…I was ON BOARD…READY to tackle M, T, W, T, F and get this body cleaned on the inside!
I’m being honest here…so no perfect cleansers or detoxers or vegans or clean food addicts judge me…I’m just a girl trying to make it happen!
DISCLAIMER: I don’t want the provider of my detox to get a bad name, because they were WONDERFUL! I was thoroughly impressed with the follow thru, the presentation, the timeliness of it all…I just don’t do “natural foods” I guess…I mean, I eat a lot of salads, raw veggies, grilled veggies, raw fruit…but to me, a lot of times I felt like I was just chewing on a vitamin. There was A LOT of flavor…just not my favorite flavors!!!
Day One
WOW…I’m so excited and pumped and thrilled that it came packaged like the above photo…I thought I was getting a few juices and a basket of raw veggies to nosh on all day…It came with a detailed order and explanation of EVERYTHING…what I was putting into my body, why it worked, what time to eat it…I hummed around the house, making Jim his coffee, sipping my I don’t know what…(but hey, it’s supposed to be good for me). Twins were sick, so I was busy at the Dr. all morning and came home and had my #3 drink. I was too busy to realize how hungry I was feeling! By the time lunch came around, I was excited to eat this zucchini hummus and raw apple pie…I already knew I did not want any beetroot salad, but, that was all I had. OK…so, it didn’t suck…but not what I was expecting. It sort of put that thick tongue feeling in the back of your throat, then my mouth started watering and I really wanted an effing coffee…At 5, I ate my last thing of the day, an almond milk juice and took the twins for a short 3 mile run…my head was killing me, I just wanted to sleep and I was wondering to myself, How in the hell will I do this tomorrow? I wanted something, anything, to chew on…my arm? I would take it. I could take the being hungry part, but the tastes, well, they just weren’t what my taste buds wanted. At all. Period. I feel asleep at 7:20 PM while cuddling my sick boys.
Stats:
Weight: 151.6 #’s (normal weight…for those of you who saw me over the summer, this was me then)
Moral: Pumped but slowly deflating
Cheating: No…only added pomegranate and pomelo
Water: 1.50 Gallons
Exercise: 4 miles in 39:16 pushing 115 pounds
Day 2
I wake up and I’m feeling better and am quite shocked when I see that I am almost 5 pounds lighter. Again, I wasn’t doing this to lose weight (as I know myself and I will gain it all back in a few weeks anyhow because I will NOT stick to this kind of diet!) and I’m telling myself I can do this when I get the package that morning…things sound better on the paper of explanations and I’m ready to go…until I see aloe juice…I can smell that stuff from when I was a kid and sunburned and the thought of drinking it up made my tummy turn…Lucky me, it’s only a quick shot of it…but then the carrot juice…BLAH…BLAH BLHA ECK BLAH BLECK…YUCK…it was slimy and thick and I couldn’t do it…my tongue got thick again and I just started drinking more water. I seriously could NOT make myself drink it. I’ll take an extra GALLON of water instead of drinking that. Then you add the “Green Goodness or Goddess” drink that comes between 10 – 11…I’m quite certain today is the day I will quit. I make it thru the morning, until that goddess drink and then my tongue gets thick again. My girlfriends are here trying to get me to go to lunch with them…I have “raw pasta” to eat made out of all veggies and I’m hungry and having that feeling…I know I am not going to make it thru the day. Around 12:15 PM…I give up. Those chicken wings the girls cooked for the boys were wafting into my nostrils and I wanted some flipping protein! I ate 4. Then I ate 4 peanut M&M’s. Then I ate a tortilla with butter. Then I ate a few bites of Zachary’s Captain Crunch. Then I sent an email to the coordinator and told her I quit. To not bring me anymore food, that I just couldn’t stomach it anymore. To which she kindly offered to send me juices to help with me a partial cleanse. I was feeling freed. I had a coffee. Then we had about 7 kids here, and I ordered pizza. And pasta. And guess what I did? I ate it. I still drank my juices and my water. By about 6:37 PM, I felt like a schmuck. Really, Teresa? You can’t do something for 2 days? LAME! So, I called her and we talked and I want to get back on the train. She said it was fine, the cleanse was “our cleanse” and it was our choice what to add and not add. (I’m pretty sure she was talking about those pomelos and carrot sticks and broccoli and apples…but, hey…I’ll give it another shot!). So I did yoga that night in my hot loft and sweated a lot of toxins out and went to bed.
Stats:
Weight: 146.8
Moral: Ummmm…what moral? Feeling a bit of a loser…
Cheating: Oh, Yes!
Water: 1.5 Gallons
Exercise: Yoga in hot room, 30 minutes
So I’m feeling 100% better after getting some carbs and brain food (my kind of brain food) into my body. I slept well, I woke up with a renewed commitment to get this done! I cheerfully greeted my tuk tuk delivery and got my booster. Cholorphyll? Isn’t that what you put on people’s mouths to make them pass out? Oh, wait…that’s chloroform. So I’m feeling a little sheepish about drinking this dark green matter…like I’m a plant vampire drinking its blood. Blah. Again…very small shot and off to the Turmeric Tonic. It could have been good. Except I put it over ice and the coconut oil in it hardened and that didn’t feel too good going down! But I’m awake, renewed and drinking plant blood…I’m Dracula…bleh bleh bleh! I hit the gym, ran 5k, did some yoga, some pushups and abs. Didn’t have a lot of energy, so my pace was slow, and I was on a treadmill…which I hate (unless I’m doing circuit training!). The food looked good today. Really good. And there were 7 steps for me…the “boss lady” added an extra something in case I got hungry! NICE! I ate it all. It tasted good…even the weird textured Chia Pudding. But did I cheat? Hmmmm…yes. I ate 2 chicken wings and some popcorn with the boys. And a handful of Doritoes at Jackie’s house. And maybe a bite or two of pork. But I also drank all my drinks. After Tuesday’s fall out, I felt this cheat, was a little less significant! Hey, let me make myself feel better! I finished the day off with another 30 minutes of yoga in my hot room and hit the hay around 10:30 PM (much better than the 7:20 on day 1)
Stats:
Weight: 145.6 #’s
Moral: Good…even tho I cheated, it was more controlled!
Cheating: Yes.
Water: 1.78 Gallons
Exercise: 3.27 miles in 35 minutes AM: 30 minutes of hot yoga PM
Day 4
I’m not even planning on that I am not going to cheat. I will, it’s just a matter of when. Today’s menu looked the best so far…wheatgrass…I can do that! Watermelon Liquid Cooler – only organic watermelon was listed as the ingredient…SCORE! I love watermelon. Raw crackers and salsa, spinach and apple salsa, spiralina bliss bar, vanilla almond milk. Teresa’s eating GOOD today! I was a little bummed that the watermelon cooler still tasted like dirt. Like dirt…with some leaves mixed it or something. I don’t get it. Why do healthy things have to be to so non-yummy? But, I was feeling good! Then my GF called me for a coffee…OK…just one! I’m an addict, jeez! It was THE best coffee! I ate my lunch just like I was supposed to. I don’t think I added anything else in. I took a 4 mile run in the middle of the friggin’ day…HOOFTA! But I had a better pace. I pretty much stuck to the plan thru the whole day, and then Jim called me to go out with some clients. To my favorite restaurant. I wanted a HUGE bowl of metro fries; those crispy Chinese ribs; the Kampot pepper steak; and 10 bowls of their spicy potato chips (come on Rob, Cate, Tara, Tony, Casey…don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about!!!!). I sat at the table and didn’t order anything. I did eat a few chips and drank about 10 glasses of water. I told Jim I would steal a French Fry from his plate…and what do they do? Bring out a side salad instead of fries…Wahhhhhh…So I ate some of his salad and one bite of the steak. I ordered a glass of wine, only for “cheersing”…and had no desire to drink it. I felt the effects of the small sips immediately…and the effects of those fried potato chips!!! It could have been a virtually cheat free day…but it wasn’t! HA!
Stats:
Weight: 144.6 #’s
Moral: Feeling Good (I mean, I only have one day left, right?!)
Cheating: Yes.
Water: 2+ Gallons
Exercise: 4 miles in 34:22 minutes
Day 5
I got the menu via email today and can’t seem to figure out how to save it for sharing…so it’s not here…but I suppose, really a mute point…because I sort of really just said I was done a few hours early…
Woke up, feeling good, piddling around the house, taking care of the boys, reading my book, watching the news and waiting for my LAST DAY~!!! HURRAY!!! I wasn’t sure what I was drinking because I hadn’t gotten the menu yet, so I sort of plugged my nose and just went for it. They weren’t bad. The food items were small…fewer numbers and I knew I was not going to stick with it after noon that day. I drank my juices, even the fearful goddess. But that one ALWAYS put a sour taste in my mouth…made my tongue thick like I needed some carbs to not vomit. I only did my juices in the morning at took the twins out for a 5 mile run around 7:30 before it got too hot. I had ZERO energy. NOTHING. I don’t know how I made it. My pace was a record slow of 11 minute/miles. I walked a lot. I just couldn’t do anymore. Probably more to do with my cheating than with the actual juices. I had a couple of french fries with the kids at the pool and a lime juice soda. Then had a full on set lunch with a salad and pasta and BREAD!!!! **insert angelic voices here** I drank a big ASSED coffee and while I was strolling around Street 51 with my bag on my shoulder, a Mango bag in my hand and an EXTRA LARGE iced mocha pumping thru my veins…I knew I was home again!
Stats:
Weight: 143.4
Moral: YIPPEE….I’m done (also a tinge of irritation with myself…I didn’t really get thru the whole thing…OK…so I DIDN’T get thru it…)
Cheating: Without a doubt.
Water: 2.5 Gallons
Exercise: 5 miles in 55:05 minutes pushing 115 pounds
Thoughts…Questions…
- Life Changing?
- No
-
- Will I trade coffees for Green Goddess?
- NEVER
-
- Will I do it again?
- Possibly. I will know a little more of what to expect the next time.
- Then again. Maybe not, since I now KNOW what to expect! ; )
- Did I sweat a lot?
- No more than normal…I live in the tropics!
- Was I stinky?
- There was one day when I felt I was different…but for the most part, I don’t think I was sweating the toxins out.
- Did I pee a lot?
- A LOT. A LOT. Probably at least 20 times+ per day.
- Did I have withdrawals?
- Yes. Headaches, lethargy, nausea. I think all coffee related! (Happy to say, I am back on it!!! bwah ha ha!)
- Any good lessons?
- Drink a LOT of water
- Eat veggies first
-
- What will I change in the future?
- Will incorporate more fruits and veggies into my life
-
- What did I learn from this?
- For me, the cleanse was more about readjusting your brain. I’m not a person who really limits what I eat. I exercise to stay healthy and so I can eat what I want.
- It helped me think about my choices. Yes, I cheated, but with the exception of my first day of cheating, I did mouthfuls.
- Just because you LOVE some food, doesn’t mean you have to eat ALL of it.
- If I deprive myself, I will gorge…plain and simple!
- I like the feeling of being content, not stuffed.
- I might eat the veggies first so that I don’t engorge on the less healthy things.
-
- Am I a changed woman:
- NO! I am a coffee drinking, wine loving, cereal slurping, muffin munching, chocolate hoarding, popcorn crunching, meat eating carnivore. It’s who I am.
-
About the Cleanse:
Artillery is a café here in Phnom Penh that promotes organic healthy living (my interpretation, because I really have no idea what the real terminology is for what they do). They were A+ thru the entire thing. Answering questions, encouraging and positive. The food presentation was fantastic. The Menu Explanations were thorough. The variety was amazing. If you have done a cleanse, or think you want to, this is a company I would recommend. While I may not have liked a lot of the food, it sort of goes with the territory. When you are changing what you do COMPLETELY, there are bound to be differencing opinions and feelings about WHAT you are eating!! The price was right ($125 for a week of food delivered to your door in a very professional presentation). The entire production was very thought out. The time it took to make all of these juices and foods and get them to everyone each morning had to be a bit overwhelming, but they were up to the challenge. VERY pleased with their professionalism and knowledge!
http://www.khmer440.com/k/2012/06/phnom-penh-restaurant-review-artillery-cafe/
FINALLY – OVERALL STATS:
I only took my weight at the beginning of each day. No measurements or anything else, because I wasn’t expecting to lose weight. Just feel more energized!
Day 1: 151# 9.6oz
Day 5: 143# 6.4 oz
Weight loss in 4 days: 8# 3.2 oz
Don’t ask me how much I weigh next week…this girls got a birthday going on and I plan on eating me some chocolate cake!!!
(Oh…I just saw this sunrise boot camp starting next week for 4 weeks…anyone want to join me?!!!!)
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